


The Defect of A Defector

by doctornemesis



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Confessions, Cramped Spaces, Feel-good, Feelings, First Kiss, I Love You, I know, Love Confessions, M/M, Sharing a Bed, Sharing a Room
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-28
Updated: 2015-12-28
Packaged: 2018-05-09 20:59:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5555159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doctornemesis/pseuds/doctornemesis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The defect in the defector was not necessarily his moral sense of right and wrong, but his ability to love and be loved. The truest form of free will one could make.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Defect of A Defector

**Author's Note:**

> 1.) I fell head over heels with this pairing quite accidentally, and chose to contribute a little something!
> 
> 2.) I do not own Star Wars, or any of the characters here mentioned. 
> 
> 3.) Any and all mistakes are mine!
> 
> 4.) Enjoy!

The lining of Finn’s spine was an interesting, tantalizing sight. The contrast of metal and raised, slightly silver flesh with the otherwise smooth, flawless darkness of his skin captivated his eyes. Poe watched as Finn stretched, enthralled as Finn held his arms high up over his head, letting out a deep, content sigh. Finn didn’t have a room of his own, yet, but Poe didn’t mind sharing his cramped quarters until other accommodations could be made.

 

The way Finn looked at him over his shoulder made the idea of them being separated as unbearable as it was undesirable. Poe slept better having Finn beside him, talking excitedly to him about anything that came to mind until his voice drowned into drowsiness and they fell peacefully quiet together. Finn always fell asleep first, and Poe didn’t know why that was exactly, but he didn’t mind; it gave him time to study the strange man who had risked it all in order to save his life.

 

 _A defect_.

 

 _A defector_.

 

A child brought up into manhood under the crushing hand of a cult, hellbent on absolute devotion and destruction of self. A child abducted from a home he had no recollection of; brain wiped clean to strip away his free will and ability to think and reason for himself. Finn, in that regard, was an anomaly.

 

“Poe.”

 

The soft, still sleep-riddled drawl startled him, but he steeled himself as not to appear surprised, or even less becoming, _frightened_ by the sudden intrusion upon his thoughts. Instead, he coughed into his hand, looking calm for someone who had just been caught gazing down upon an unusually symmetrical face in the middle of the night. After a time, Finn opened his eyes fully, staring up at Poe who seemed at a loss for words.

 

“Poe.”

 

“Yeah?” He asked, irritated by his lack of ability to coming up with something better than that.

 

Finn clapped his hands together, not particularly loud, but loud enough for a small light overhead to come on. Poe watched as Finn studied him, watched as he rolled over onto his side to mimic Poe’s demeanor. Finn did that a lot, Poe noted. Not that he minded.

 

“Can I be honest with you?” he asked, eyes flickering to and from his face. A nervous tick he didn’t often display.

 

“Of course. Honesty’s the best policy, right? I wouldn’t have it any other way,” Poe said, crossing his feet at the ankles. The desire to fidget came over him then, and he fought vehemently against it, but Finn never talked like this. A question of honesty. If anything, Finn could be _painfully_ honest with him at times. “C’mon, buddy. Don’t leave me hangin' here.”

 

“I don’t want my own quarters,” he said, at last with a deep sigh. “I like staying here...with you. I like talking to you at night; it helps me sleep. Does that make me sound bad? Weak...like, like I can’t stand on my own out here?”

 

“No,” Poe answered with a huff, placing his free hand on Finn’s shoulder, unsure what else to do with the limb. It was the quickest he had ever responded to another being before in his life. “No, man. That doesn’t make you weak; it just makes you human.”

 

“I know you want your space back, though,” Finn said, voice low as he appeared to be talking mostly to himself in that moment. “At least, that’s what BB-8 says.”

 

“BB-8 doesn’t know anything,” Poe argued, sliding his hand up the side of Finn’s neck. Contemplating ways to make the droid suffer. “I like you here. I more than _like_ you here,” he explained, a grin radiating across his features as a sense of relief washed over him.

 

“You don’t owe me anything, you know that? Right?”

 

Poe laughed, pulling Finn’s face close to his own until their eyes were leveled. “I owe you _my life_ ,” he said, taking a leap of faith as he did what he had so thought about for the past few weeks. As far as first kisses go, Poe had had better, but he put the blame squarely on his shoulders for this one in that he didn’t make his intentions clear, and so Finn threw himself back and off the bed.

 

The laughter that erupted from deep within Poe’s chest did not help matters, either. Finn looked up at him in even more confusion, head slightly cocked to the side. “I misunderstood the situation, didn’t I?” he asked, sitting up.

 

Poe crawled across the bed to where Finn now sat at the other end, placing a hand gently against his cheek. “I didn’t explain myself. I was going to kiss you,” he said, heart dropping into his gut and mouth unbelievably dry as he said those words out loud.

 

“ _Oh_ ,” Finn said, flustered in the way he bit his bottom lip. “I misread that one real bad.”

 

Poe laughed again. “It’s okay,” he said, removing his hand only to have Finn grab it and hold it there. The rich obsidian color of his eyes were as warm and inviting as they were all consuming; Poe could get lost happily in them forever if he allowed himself. 

 

“It’s not okay,” he said, the nervous chewing of his bottom lip continuing. “I would have liked that...something like that, I mean. _I mean_ \--”

 

“Shut up,” Poe said, effectively cutting the former Stormtrooper off with a press of lips against even softer lips, and he wondered how that was even possible, but didn’t care to stop long enough to ask or wonder in depth about it.

 

Finn, Poe noted, was a quick learner. A much appreciated trait as Finn climbed back onto the bed, settling across Poe’s lap as he kissed him with an eagerness unmatched by any he had had the fortune to come across. The feel of him beneath his fingertips set each nerve in his body tingling, their chests heaving as both refused to surface for air first.

 

The sensation left behind a wonderful ache as they separated, lungs struggling to regain control as their breath mingled together, lips equally swollen. Finn looked down upon him with such wonder, such complete awe that it struck him to his core. Poe smoothed his hands up along strong thighs, disappointed by the barrier of clothing that separated the skin of his palms from the flesh of Finn’s buttocks.

 

“What?” he inquired, a little self conscious by the depth of Finn’s stare.

 

Finn laughed then, threading his fingers through Poe’s hair, seeming to revel in the small moan the action produced. “You’re my first,” he said, leaning down to whisper into Poe’s ear. “You’re my first for everything good in my life.”

 

“Oh, crap,” Poe said, sealing his eyes shut as he willed himself not to declare love so soon and so openly. “I care about you...so much.”

 

“I love you,” Finn said, nipping Poe’s earlobe just so. “I’m confident enough in the meaning of that word to say it now.”

 

“ _Y-Yeah_?” Poe asked, stuttering his way through it.

 

Finn laughed again, this time much deeper as he placed a kiss to the top of Poe’s head. “ _Yeah_ ,” he answered, sliding back to his side of the bed, and it was _his_ side now. That, Poe had decided sometime ago.

 

“I’m glad I’m not the only one,” he whispered, kissing Finn’s hand as the other man began to drift off again. “I mean, I love you, too. You know?”

 

“I know.”

 

Poe went back to watching Finn sleep, except this time it all made sense to him now. The defect in the defector was not necessarily his moral sense of right and wrong, but his ability to love and be loved. The truest form of free will one could make.                        


End file.
